The power of self-transcendence

In this week's episode I explore the power of self-transcendence and service to not only enable us to access the untapped personal potential we all posses, but also to transform the world at large.

Join me as I explore:

- how a culture of prioritising individualistic pursuits has led to increasing rates of suffering and disconnection
- how cultures that centre their societies around the greater good of the collective are seen to thrive
- additional insights about Abraham Maslow's 'Hierarchy of Needs' and how later in life he came to understand the need for self transcendence was the true pinnacle of human potential
- how a mind blowing experience of spoon bending reinforced the power of service to unlock our potential and those of others

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Intro and Outro music: Inspiring Morning by Playsound

You can also find me on Instagram @integrated_wisdom

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Transcript

Tatiana: 0:00

Welcome to the Integrated Wisdom Podcast. I am your host, Tatiana Da Silva. Join me as we discuss what it means to live an integrated life and explore ways for you to create a life filled with greater meaning, peace, and connection by integrating the wisdom of spirituality, psychology, Neuroscience, Epigenetics and Energy Psychology are hoped to empower you to create deeper and more loving connections with yourself and others, whilst also paving the way for humanity at large to be reimagined and inspired to become the very best version of itself. Hello and welcome into the integrated wisdom podcast. Thank you so much for joining me. Yet again today. It has been a little while since I was last here. I had the last three weeks off. To attend a mastermind retreat for a week which was phenomenal. And also just take some time to. Think through and workshop some ideas I'm having. About the direction that I want to take the podcast, as we head into the new year. But also some other things that I'm working on in the background that I'm really excited about. Coming back today. I wanted to focus on something that I believe is at the heart. Of spirituality. It's at the heart of what it means to be human. And it's something that. In the current state of the world. Is so. Incredibly needed. And that is this idea of. Self-transcendence transcending ourselves. So going beyond the individual that we are. And re shifting our focus to. The wellbeing of others, the collective. And so forth. I think in many of my episodes previously, I have continuously alluded to this message. And there's a reason that I, I sound like a broken record on this topic. I do believe that. In order for us to be able to achieve the changes, that tangible changes that we all hope to see in the world. It requires us every single one of us or the majority of us, at least to be able to get that change. But ideally. Every single one of us. To tap into. This concept of. The wellbeing of all. Or what's for the highest good of all leading the way above ourselves. You know, for. For quite a few decades now. We have been getting messages over and over again. About the importance of individual happiness. Our society has been really kind of isolating us from our collectives, our communities and has been conditioning us to believe that our happiness at an individual level is the thing that matters most. And it's really curious to see. To witness that as this messaging became more and more prevalent. Became more and more the norm. We started moving away from being really in-bedded in communities, whether it be. Um, Churches or hobbies or sporting connections or charities. You know, even with the way that we've set up our families. We're more and more isolated from each other. As that's become more and more the norm. We're seeing rising levels of chaos of suffering in the world at large. And I don't believe that's a coincidence. There is an absolute correlation with the fact that we've moved from being less communally minded. And more self focused, to some of the suffering that we're experiencing today. You know, and it, which is so funny because. The premise of these theories around prioritizing your happiness and putting the self above anything else. Is it sells this myth, right? Sells this idea that in doing so That's where true. Happiness lies. And yet the more self-focused we've become. The less happy we seem to be. The more empty. The more lonely. Right. The more we're suffering. And so today I want us to speak to this. To this point, because I believe. Humanity the world, the state of the world at the moment is calling for a solution that takes into, uh, into account the needs of everybody. It's begging for us to come back together. To work in unison. We can't achieve the changes that we're seeking. Whilst not. Really harnessing the wellbeing of everybody. What's hot. What's for the highest good of everyone. So that's w that's what I wanted to speak to today. The power of service, the power of self-transcendence. Why we're at a juncture in our evolutionary history that begs for that as the next step. I want to take you back to. Psychology 1 0 1. When we first started studying psychology, one of the very first things that they teach us at university. Uh, some of the more influential theories that have shaped the discipline. Along the way. And one of those influential. Thinkers or psychologists that we were taught about. Was a man named Abraham Maslow. And his work was so influential. It's become very commonplace for people to talk about. Um, some of his findings. Many of you may have heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So in Abraham's theory, his hierarchy of needs was a way of illustrating what essentially motivates people. Right. And that our motivations or our focus is hierarchical in nature. In that there are some. Very basic foundational needs that need to be met before we're able to strive for more complex needs. So for those. For you who aren't familiar with. Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Oh, I'll talk you through it. It's it's illustrated in the form of a pyramid. And the very foundational level of the pyramid. Is what he termed as the basic needs. So these are essential, physiological needs. what we need as humans to stay alive. Warmth. Oxygen food, water. Shelter. Those. Sorts of things. So only once we're able to meet our physiological needs, do we then start searching to meet. The next level needs. So only once I know that I have. Shelter. I know that I have. Food. I know that I have water. I have the opportunity to rest. All my physiological needs are met. I then have the capacity to go searching for my next level needs. And the next level needs, uh, termed safety and security. And these are pretty self-explanatory. So these are the things that we need to be able to facilitate or provide for ourselves a sense of safety and stability. So employment. Like our health needs. Be it the ability to form families and social connections. These are all parts of this layer of safety and security. Okay. Once we've established that. Then we can go deeper into the next level need, which is love and belonging, and that's where we can then be present in our relationships. We can be connected to friends, to family. We can have intimacy. We can develop a sense of connection. I am only able to think about these things, to be these things in my relationships. Once I'm certain that all my basic physiological needs are met. And I am safe and secure. Right. It's very hard to be present in a relationship. To be. Um, loving and connected, whether it's to partners to friends, to our kids. If we're constantly worrying about our safety and security. Right. In this time of extreme economic uncertainty. That's taking a toll on people's abilities to show up. In various aspects of their lives because this. The security and safety need. Is now kind of feeling a little bit unstable. And so we can't then dig deep or give more of ourselves. Uh, until we feel like we have met. Or stabilize that need. Um, with consistency. But once that, but once we have that and we're then able to meet that. That need of, we can pursue love and, and belonging. We can foster and develop. Loving relationships. We can be present with our families. We can have intimate connections. The next layer is self-esteem. And these are all according to Maslow. Which is our need for confidence. Our Need for achievement. Um, need for respecting ourselves respecting others. Um, but also the needs to then be a unique individual. I think we get safety. We have, we develop a feeling of safety to be ourselves. When we know that we have a tribe of people around us. Who accept us. Which it's kind of curious, isn't it like a lot of the time we'll, we're all worried about feeling okay. First before we can connect with other people. But we also know that on a human level. Being involved with people, having people around us who safe bases or uh, loving who accept us, allows us then to feel safe to be a hundred percent ourselves. So this is kind of reciprocal. Um, relationship that happens in that the more I'm able to be myself, the more I'm able to, to then also deepen my connection with other people. And then the final layer of Maslow's pyramid as it's known in the world today is it Once we've made those now those different needs. So once I've met my physiological needs, and then I've met my safety and security needs. And then my love. And belonging needs. And then my self esteem needs. The final step from there is to then pursue self actualization. So that's when then I can allow myself to start tapping into my full potential. My creativity. The full expression of my own morality to be spontaneous. To be accepting to experience a sense of purpose and meaning. But also to connect with my inner potential. And as far as we knew for a really long time, That was the essence of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. More recently, what came to light is that even though Maslow presented to this theory, Back in 1943. He lived until 1970. So once he passed away, It then came to light that he had been working in the latter years of his life. He had been working on expanding that concept of The hierarchy. In the letter you use of his life, it became apparent to Maslow that our needs don't end in ourselves. Right. He then started to draft a new apex to the pyramid. Which went beyond the self actualization. And he termed then additional top layer of self transcendence So in Maslow's view. We eventually ultimately needed to transcend beyond ourselves and reconnect ourselves as part of a whole to see ourselves as part of a broader universe. Where we have common priorities with others. And then in order for human beings as a species to not only survive, but to thrive. We need all of us to be able to transcend beyond ourselves and start putting the needs of the collective first and working in unison. So it's an essential step in order for us to then be able to come together. Um, as individuals. To then create a more. global community. And you see in some of the challenges that we're experiencing at the moment. The inequality that we're seeing in the world. How the gap between those who have money who have resources. Versus those that don't is getting wider and wider. And. There is no real way to resolve that gap to close that gap. Until we start all working for the good of all to start to understand Unless we're able. To address those inequalities and in these growing gaps and start to close them again and give people dignity. We're actually threatening to undermine the very integrity. Of those needs, right? Because when you look at areas where crime is rampant, Where. You know, safety. Is is jeopardized. A lot of that is coming is coming from the, the lack of equality, the lack of opportunity, large groups of people. Who's essential, basic needs for safety. For some of their basic needs is just not getting met. When you look at countries that have probably gotten this balance much. More right. I'm thinking specifically of Scandinavian countries, which, you know, often. Held in high regard as models for a more equitable society. their citizens report and having the highest levels of happiness and life satisfaction in the world. There are societies where the common good. Is much more the center of how they function as a society. The policies that they make in at a governmental level. They all emphasize the good of the whole. And. They're like, they're great examples of how. How important that is and How everyone's tends to gain. Because all citizens in that community are able to live with safety are able to have their essential needs met. They're able to live with dignity. And it gives them the scope to Reach their potential. And when you look at some of the societies or communities, where there is rampant problems. There are issues with safety, there are issues with crime. Where the addiction. They're cultures that have been prioritizing. Self advancement. Right. Like. Yes, the U S for example, is not a country that. Is poor by any means it's still one of the greatest superpowers in the world. In terms of, you know, Financial standing in terms of military power, all of that stuff. But when you look at the way that their citizens live. The rising numbers of opiates addiction. The number of people that are suffering that are homeless. the rates of crime in a community, in a society like that. Right. That is. Always has always been advocating for the self, right? It's a very individualistic culture in many, many ways. Uh, you start to see some how that then starts to interfere with the wellbeing of the whole. And, you know, even in Australia, where we don't have anywhere near the same social problems that they have in the US. But we're starting to see more and more. issues of crime. Of random attacks. There are parts of the country that probably. Uh, feeling very unsafe right now where historically these issues didn't exist. And, you know, I moved here 34 years ago. And coming from Brazil and Sao Paulo where there are so many people, there's so much inequality. So much poverty. Uh, I was really amazed by how. Clean everything was how you never saw a homeless person anywhere. And now thirty four years later, it's so much more common. To see. Homeless people in the city. Um, even in some suburbs. You start, we're starting to see them. Because of the current economic climate that we're living in an unknown startup, it's not unique to Australia worldwide. We're seeing these problems since the pandemic. But I think also it's a residual consequence of, for so many decades being kind of led to believe that self. Realization or, achieving our individual pursuits or our individual happiness. Should be the priority. I think it's come at a really big cost. And if we have any hope of changing the direction that we're heading in at the moment. We need to start focusing on the greater good for everybody. Right. Decisions policies can't be made. To benefit a handful. They have to be made to benefit all, or at the very least, the majority. And at the moment that's not happening. But I. I've wanted to share a story of something that happened In the retreat, which for me. It was mind blowing, but also that just drives this concept home so much. So, as I mentioned, I was away at a business mastermind. And this. Mastermind is made up of. Impact-driven therapists. So we're all psychologists. We're all creating businesses away from our clinical work. That are geared towards creating a bigger impact in the world. Reaching more people. In our individual ways. So obviously one of my ways is by incorporating. a spiritual lens and Integrating it with our scientific concepts of life of humanity and. Reintegrating these two, layers that have being split apart, but really should come together. And different people in the group have different focuses, but we're all working towards the same. Ultimate aim. To create a better world for people. To give more resources to people to transcend their suffering. And. In one of the days of the retreat. our beautiful facilitator, Hailey. She walked us through an exercise. Which at first felt a little bit like it was a bit of a trick. But as we went through it, It was just mind blowing and why she had us do it in the first place. So she had us go through an exercise of bending a spoon. She set it all up. We had the spoons, we each had a spoon. It's very solid spoon, as you would expect. And she then walked us through a meditation. We all had our eyes closed. We're sitting there with our spoon. And as she's giving us these instructions on. You know how to connect with ourselves, connect with our essence. Transcend our spaces be able to harness our energy. Connect down to the vibrational energy of all things. You know that understanding that Nothing is solid as we perceive it. Everything is atoms vibrating. Right. So connecting with the concept of that in the spoon. And at one point in the instructions or the meditation as she was guiding us through. So she gave us these structures as well, to not only focus on ourselves like our desire to bend the spoon. But also to connect with the desire of the people on either side of us. Right. We're all sitting next to each other. And to bend our spoon for them to help them. See, what's possible to give them. Inspiration and role model for them that it's achievable that we have the ability that we have this strength, this power to do something like this. I can't remember how long the whole thing took. Might've been about 20 minutes or so. And. The whole time I am focusing on. I admitted, I was focusing on the fact that I was just determined to bend this spoon. And I'm just. Struggling with the spoon and I'm struggling with the spoon and you've been completely frustrated with the spoon. Because the more it tried to bend it and force it to bend. it bizzarely, felt like it was getting more and more rigid. If that were even possible. It just felt it was completely unyielding and the more I struggled. And. Pushed to, to bend the spoon, the less it gave. And so by this point, I'm thinking, oh gosh, I'm the only one that can't do it. But then I also thought it came. Maybe there's, there's a point. The point here is it's not about bending the spoon. There's another message in here somewhere. And then. I thought maybe this isn't actually possible. And. When we all kind of finished the exercise and we open our eyes. I noticed that many of us. Didn't have our spoons bent. So I was like, okay, maybe, maybe it wasn't possible. But then I noticed that, that there was. Three women in the group. Who actually did manage to bend their spoons we're a group of 11. And three of us were able to bend the spoon. One in particular was mind blowing. She bent the spoon, right? Like basically halfway, like it was, it became a U shaped. It was amazing. And so when we all debriefed and talked about and how that was achieved, Or what we each experienced in there. Y, I always spoke about my struggle, but when the people who actually managed to bend the spoon were talking about what allowed them to bend. They all say the same thing. The spoon Only bent. Once they connected with the idea of bending it for others in the group. The minute that they, they decided I can, I'm going to do it for them. I'm going to do it for the others. The spoon yielded. And they were able to bend the spoon. Which is mindblowing. Right. But then something else happened. As these women were talking. and explaining how it was to focus on doing it for the others, doing it for the group. That allowed them to bend the spoon. Somebody else in the group who hadn't managed to bend the spoon during the meditation was then able to bend the spoon. Because they tapped into this idea of doing it for others. They connected with that and embody that feeling. And then their spoon yielded, even though we weren't even doing the meditation. So, why am I telling you this? The reason I'm telling you this story is because just like in this example of connecting with. Our desire to inspire others. To do for others. And how that enabled these women. Who are magnificent in their own. Right. But enabled these women to bend the spoon. All of us when we're able to harness. The power of the collective when we're able to transcend ourselves and focus on other people. What's the highest good for all of others to be of service. We can achieve the impossible. We can do things that we don't even know we can do. I believe that wholeheartedly. I already believe that before this retreat, but when I witnessed this. Very tangible metaphor. It just reinforced for me, that belief so much more. The power that we all have as human beings to transform the reality we're living in. To create the world that we all crave to relieve others of suffering. You know, to thrive as a collective. We all, we have that power. We can achieve things we can't even conceive of yet. But it does require our ability to transcend ourselves. It requires our ability to connect. And focus on. What's good for other people, how we can serve. So I felt really called to share these with y'all this week because of. One, how powerful this reminder, this tangible reminder was for me in that retreat. But also because I'm seeing all the chaos and the suffering that people are experiencing around the world right now. And the polarization that seems to be getting amplified more and more around these issues. You know, we're never going to have the world we crave. We're never going to have the peace we crave. The safety we crave. The potential we crave. If we continue to focus on our individual needs. If we continue to pit ourselves as us versus them. If we continue to buy into this. Mistaken belief that we live in a world of scarcity. We don't. There is enough for everybody. If we connected with the good and the highest good of all. We would be able to not only see that. We would be able to turn that into a reality. And I know that. At the moment, a lot of us are feeling powerless in some of the chaos that's happening in the world. But as I've said, In at other times. I don't think we should ever underestimate. The power that each one of us has to make the ripple effect that we can create. Whenever we take action. Right. Whenever we take action. Two of my colleagues who are able to. To support each other. Just by sharing that experience. Because one was able to bend the spoon. By connecting with. The good of the group. Another person who couldn't have. Do it before was able to do it. That's the power of one. And the influence we have on those around us. If every one of us inspires that in others and they in turn inspire that in others, around them. Can you imagine what change we can effect? And so I want you to walk away from this episode, thinking about that. It doesn't have to be big things. Right. But what's the one small, tangible step that you can start to take. To harness. This concept of service in your life. To focus on others. The difference that you can make. And services not self-sacrifice right. It's really important that we clarify this. For a long, long time. I believed that I was serving through my self sacrifice. That I had to self sacrifice in order to serve. Services are very, very strong value of mine. But I've now come to realize that I can't serve from an empty cup and self-sacrifice empties my cup. Right. So remembering that I don't have to go without, I don't have to give away my power. I don't have to. Override my needs in order to serve. But how can I serve? Even in the smallest possible way. the answer to that will be different to each of you. But there will be opportunities for you to do so. In almost every facet of your life. So I encourage you to reflect on that and connect with that. And, you know, as always, I would love to hear your thoughts on this. If you've tried it, how you found it. If you disagree with some of the points that are making you think that I've missed some important considerations, you're always welcome to reach out to me. I really welcome conversation around these topics. You can find me on Instagram at integrated underscore wisdom. Feel free to DM me there. And yeah, I really do look forward to hearing about you. And if you find that any of what I've spoken about today, It could be a value to someone, you know, please share the episode with them. I invite you to do this, subscribe to the podcast. If you haven't already. And whilst you're there, please give us a rating because that's one way that I know that I am serving. You that what I'm providing is valuable to those of you listening, but also it tells the algorithm to Push the content out to others so I can reach even more people. So that's it for this week. Thank you so much again for joining me. And I hope you all have a wonderful week. And I look forward to speaking to you soon. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Integrated Wisdom. It is my sincere wish that today's episode may have intrigued and inspired you to reclaim your power and step into becoming more fully integrated spiritual beings. New episodes are published every Wednesday. And I hope you'll continue to join us as we dive deeper into what it means to live an integrated life. So if it feels aligned to you, I invite you to hit subscribe and share it with others who you feel may benefit too. You may also find me on Instagram at integrated underscore wisdom. Remember, each moment is an opportunity to embrace your divine potential and create a world that is more frequently inspired. So for now, stay connected, stay inspired and keep shining your light. Into the world.